MC Stammer – Can’t Say This

Loved doing this

Hi I'm stammer and I have a David

Ok I’ve finished my parody sorry if it offends anyone, if it helps picture me in MC Hammer style trousers dancing along:

My My My stammer hits me so hard,

Makes me so why dear lord

Why did you give me

A speech defect that needs therapy

It feels bad and gets me down

Words get stuck and i start to frown

And i know as such

That this is a sentence i can’t touch:

Any tongue twisters (can’t say this)

Any long words (can’t say this)

Look at my mouth man (can’t say this)

You can see i’m stuck (can’t say this)

Saying the sentence in advance

If i get it right its a happy dance

So stay on the edge of your seat

If i get it right you’re in for a treat

Whilst i’m in full flow hold on

If i get stuck it’s all gone wrong

Like this, like that

Stammering makes me feel…

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End of year struggles

So as we approach the end of year it’s probably time to recap how this year has gone, speech wise the first seven months were really encouraging and I was very pleased with how everything was going. The main goal for starting this blog was to build my confidence for the cruise and I felt that I was successful in that respect. I spoke to people on my own, ordered things at the bars and shops and generally was very happy with how the cruise went. I still had the odd moment but from January til July I was extremely content and pleasantly surprised with how well my stammer was under control.
Since July though things have sort of gone back to how they were before, I’ve not bothered with my breathing techniques and I have no one to blame for that but myself, maybe I am simply content being as I am, the cruise was just for show I suppose but I did think better of myself then. I wanted to fit in on the ship so as a result I definitely put more effort into breathing, stopping and starting again. July, August and September were acceptable speech wise but since then I feel like I have gone backwards. The past three weeks has been terrible, I’ve started feeling embarrassed about talking to people and little things that I thought I could cope with have started creeping back again. When people on my round give me Christmas cards I start stuttering and mumbling instead of simply saying thank you and on Friday I felt so embarrassed when someone asked me my name and I couldn’t answer,the person didn’t know where to look and started laughing nervously which made it worse, in the end he simply walked off. I haven’t felt that way for almost a whole year since I started this blog (hence why I am back writing today)
It’s a difficult one really because I am very happy in life generally and you would think that as a result my stutter would follow, but perversely because I’m content perhaps I don’t try as hard as I should speech wise. As always no one makes an issue of my stutter except me and without the support of Debbie and my boys I know I would be in a much worse state, so what do I do? Should I just carry on as things are or should I try again and redo what I did so successfully at the start of the year.
The year has had many ups ( cruise, first granddaughter and eldest’s wedding) but many downs. I have never known so many friends to have had such a difficult year and am hoping that 2014 brings in new luck for everybody. I’m very fortunate to be healthy and have so many good friends in my life and I am truly grateful for my immediate family. I may be a grumpy git some times but believe me there is nowhere else I would rather be. If I could ask one thing for 2014 it’s to continue to be healthy and have have the live and support of my family and friends (the lottery jackpot wouldn’t go amiss either)

Been a while

I can’t believe that It’s been nearly five months since my last blog, I haven’t forgotten this blog or neglected it but simply haven’t had much to say, I often return to the blog when my speech is playing up just to remind myself what it was all about and it really does help. I am nowhere near the person I was when I first started this blog in January, however although I am extremely comfortable with my life at the moment, my stutter seems to have taken a step back recently. It’s probably a combination of lots of factors but the main one for me is that I have completely forgotten the breathing techniques that were so successful in aiding me. I’m talking too fast again and trying to get words out quicker then I should. I have lost my paranoia though which was a massive achievement. I no longer feel that people are not approaching me to have conversations with me nor are they trying to finish conversations quicker to get away from me. I took advice from Debbie who basically said if people aren’t prepared to wait for you to speak then those people aren’t worth it.

It’s been a funny five months since the cruise really, lots of work, lots of looking at and reminiscing of the cruise too, in fact we have already planned our next one in 2015 which is gonna be awesome, I was very happy with how my speech was during the cruise and I need to get that back as at the moment I feel like its rubbish !!! I have noticed that I have developed a twitch in my eye when I am stuttering as well which I think is affecting me as I am more concerned about that showing then concentrating on my breathing. Also I can’t remember if I had this twitch before or whether it’s just developed, you’d have thought I would have remember something like this but I honestly can’t, and this is also annoying me. I’m very thankful that I have a great support network at home so it doesn’t really become an issue, it’s only an issue at work when I’m trying to talk to people as I’m rushing to get things out.

Hopefully by returning to my blog and rereading it, I can recall the techniques and get back on track